


Confess

by bjfic_archivist



Category: Queer as Folk (US)
Genre: Canon, Songfic
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2005-06-24
Updated: 2005-06-24
Packaged: 2018-12-27 02:35:44
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 896
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12071871
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/bjfic_archivist/pseuds/bjfic_archivist
Summary: Brian muses after returning to the empty loft at the end of season 2.





	Confess

**Author's Note:**

> Note from IrishCaelan, the archivist: this story was originally archived at [The Brian/Justin Fanfiction Archive](http://fanlore.org/wiki/Brian_Justin_Fanfiction_Archive). To preserve the archive, I began importing its works to the AO3 as an Open Doors-approved project in September 2017. I posted announcements, but may not have reached everyone. If you are (or know) this creator, please contact me using the e-mail address on [The Brian/Justin Fanfiction Archive collection profile](http://archiveofourown.org/collections/bjfic/profile).

Thanks to my beta Britt my pookie. love u. Also thanks to Shauna again for the great idea. I hope all of you like this.

_**Song By: Foo Fighters. The Best. **_

**This is in Brian’s POV after the Rage party, he comes home and muses.**

* * *

I stumble into the empty loft; the party went rather well, up until once again, I fucked up.

Or should I say I fucked myself. 

Once I grab another bottle of Jim Beam, I sit, more like plop down onto the couch, looking around and finally realizing just what the fuck is going on. 

Justin left me. He left me for the fucking banjo, no fiddler boy with the rat on his face. 

_I've got another confession to make  
I'm your fool  
Everyone's got their chains to break  
Holdin' you _

God I was such a fool. How could I let him walk out? 

All he wanted was for me to tell him how proud I was of him, of how I wanted him to stay with me. But those fucking walls were too high. 

_Were you born to resist or be abused?  
Is someone getting the best, the best, the best, the best of you?  
Is someone getting the best, the best, the best, the best of you? _

How could I let the best thing that ever happened to me go? Now are you giving it to that fucking Ethan? 

You were so good to me, well, when I deserved it, which wasn’t a lot. 

_Are you gone and onto someone new?  
I needed somewhere to hang my head  
Without your noose _

Everywhere I look in this damn place, I see Justin. I see him standing there, smiling, looking nervous like the first night. 

I see him standing in my kitchen making dinner. 

I see him on the bed, looking sexy as hell. I even see him in my arms. 

_You gave me something that I didn't have  
But had no use  
I was too weak to give in  
Too strong to lose _

You gave me your heart in every way possible. All you wanted was for me to… fuck! I can’t even say it now. It hurts too much. 

God I’m so fucking weak. 

_My heart is under arrest again  
But I break loose  
My head is giving me life or death  
But I can't choose  
I swear I'll never give in  
I refuse _

I can’t give into these feelings. I’m not some weak fag. My walls were put up for a reason, and the reason was clear, 

To not get hurt. 

_Is someone getting the best, the best, the best, the best of you?  
Is someone getting the best, the best, the best, the best of you? _

Someone is getting the best, or is he? I know how good your best is. 

I miss it. 

_Has someone taken your faith?  
Its real, the pain you feel _

I feel the pain but what I put you through, was a lot worse. 

_Your trust, you must  
Confess  
Is someone getting the best, the best, the best, the best of you?   
Oh... Oh...Oh...Oh...Oh... _

I want it back, but it must be too late. 

Fuck, this pain in my heart. 

_Has someone taken your faith?  
Its real, the pain you feel   
The life, the love   
You die to heal   
The hope that starts   
The broken hearts   
Confess _

I feel so much pain, as I feel the tears rolling down my face. I must confess that my heart is broken. 

_Is someone getting the best, the best, the best, the best of you  
Is someone getting the best, the best, the best, the best of you? _

I know I want you to have more. I know you gave me your best, but I never gave mine. 

_I've got another confession my friend  
I'm no fool   
I'm getting tired of starting again  
Somewhere new_

I don’t want to have to start over. Rebuilding the walls you broke through. God Justin, why couldn’t have been different. 

_Were you born to resist or be abused?  
I swear I'll never give in  
I refuse   
Is someone getting the best, the best, the best, the best of you?  
Is someone getting the best, the best, the best, the best of you? _

I can’t give in. It’s fucking weakness. 

You are still hard to resist, even when you aren’t here. 

_Has someone taken your faith?  
Its real, the pain you feel   
Your trust, you must  
Confess_

I love you Justin. I confess. 

You broke through those walls I had up, and stole my heart. 

I now know that this pain I feel wasn’t because you loved me, but because I loved you. 

I want to have the best, I am not weak. I’m in love. Now that is the best and for once, I am going to get the best. 

I refuse; I refuse to give up on the one person who never gave up on me. 

I pick up the phone, dialing Justin’s number, hoping it’s not too late. 

As he answers the phone I completely lose it as I cry out “I confess.” 

_Is someone getting the best, the best, the best, the best of you?_  
Oh... 

“Because I want to be the one getting the best of you.” And nothing but tears from us both knowing that it’s the biggest step in my life.


End file.
